Fun with Words
by Dancing Nightmare
Summary: In which House speaks only in anagrams. Featuring the old ducklings, 'cause they're cooler.


"Dire mob"

Chase, Foreman and Cameron looked up confused at their boss, who had suddenly uttered the sentence above. But House showed no signs of this being weird, and instead just leaned further back in his chair and played a little with his cane. The ducklings, still weirded out, went back to what they were doing (a crossword, reading a medical magazine, and checking House's mail) and pretended that House hadn't said anything.

But then the doctor spoke again, now looking directly at the team.

"You dreamed thin?" he asked, a little impatiently. "Dire _mob_"

Foreman decided that he couldn't ignore this and put the magazine down with a frown to voice the team's opinion; "Er, what?"

"Dire mob, Mean Fro" House repeated, then added, a little cheerfully; "Farm rang nausea!"

"Okay, what the hell are you talking about?" asked Foreman slightly annoyed.

"A smooth digit" House noted to himself.

Cameron decided to speak up. "House, that doesn't even make any sense"

"Hash nutty swift, Romance" the older doctor said cheerfully to Cameron, who frowned, and then he turned to Chase. "Aches, wed now ace sane heavy?"

Now it was Chase's turn to look baffled, and he opened his mouth to say something but stopped, shut it and looked to be in deep thought for a while with knitted eyebrows. Then he apparently seemed to have an epiphany as he raised his eyebrows and looked at House skeptically.

"Wait, are you speaking in _anagrams?_" he asked and House instantly lit up.

"Bottom tab, away!" the insane man said approvingly and Foreman and Cameron looked at Chase, stunned.

"You understood that?" Cameron asked skeptically.

"I'm good with words" Chase quickly said, and then added; "I believe _that_ means '_Atta boy, wombat_'"

Foreman rolled his eyes and returned to his medical magazine, dismissing the anagrams as yet another one of House's crazy whims. "Whatever. As long as he doesn't disturb me"

"Hot wino" House grinned, seemingly in a better mood.

"'_Oh I won't_'" Chase quietly translated, but shut up when Foreman gave him The Evil Eye.

Things were remarkably quiet in the office for a while, which mildly surprised the ducklings seeing as a bored House – who had decided to speak in _anagrams _nonetheless – was a Disrupter of Peace. Chase presumed that House had shut up to think of new, clever anagrams of sentences that he could use to screw with their minds. But of course, this silence didn't last.

"Hey, House" Wilson said casually as he entered the room, not noticing the panicked glances that the ducklings exchanged. "Wanna grab some lunch?"

"Owl Sin!" House exclaimed happily to Wilson's confusion.

"Who?" he asked perplexed.

"It's an anagram of your name" Chase chipped in, then returned to his crossword.

"Why does he speak in anagrams?" Wilson asked suspiciously to the team, but seeing their shrugs he turned his eyes to House instead. "Why are you speaking in anagrams?"

"Oh wow, intruder's mystic" House said offhand and twirled his cane between his fingers.

Wilson stopped and frowned as he tried to make sense of the sentence, but it took so long that Chase felt compelled to help.

"'_To screw with your minds_'" Chase said and Wilson nodded a small thanks.

"Has he been like this all day?" the oncologist asked.

"He started it a moment ago, then stopped" Foreman said without taking his eyes of the magazine, starting the get annoyed by the people disrupting him. "And then you came in and he started all over again"

"Oh. Sorry" Wilson said sheepishly.

"Noisy pubic hair touchers" House commented.

"_What_?"

"He said; '_You're such a prison bitch'_"

"What?! I'm not a _prison bitch_! Just because I said sorry doesn't mean I'm a prison bitch!"

"Bisexuals orgy, yup"

"… '_Relax, you big pussy_'"

"House, you're being childish. And I'm not a pussy _or _a prison bitch"

"Gloomy, spent old man"

"'_Don't go all PMS-y on me_'"

"House—you know what, let's forgot this. You wanna have lunch or not?"

"End sped. Baboon if naughty erection"

"'_Depends. Not if you're gonna be a bitch_'" Chase translated dismayed and quickly added; "Can't you guys continue this conversation in private?"

"But I need a translator!" Wilson said seriously and Chase briefly wondered if he shouldn't just have shut up about his skills with words.

House was, at the least, amused by the whole situation and was about to give another sarcastic comment about Wilson's sexuality and/or sex, when they were interrupted by three quick beats on the glass door. The ducklings plus Wilson and House turned their heads to the door to see a mildly annoyed hospital administrator, and Chase silently thanked his lucky star for saving him from the awkward anagram translation.

"House, you owe me four clinic hours" Cuddy said sternly with her best I'm-The-Administrator-And-I'm-In-Charge voice complete with hands on her hips. "Get down there, now"

"On abundant wit" House said in a whiny voice.

The others gave Chase a quick glance, who rolled his eyes before translating it to the obvious ('_But I don't wanna'_).

Cuddy, however, did not notice this exchange and instead just mildly quirked one eyebrow. "Don't try to get out of this one with nonsense babble, House. Clinic, downstairs, now"

And with that said, she turned a walked firmly away, not even bothering to check whether House was doing what he was told (after all, he had Wilson and his team there to force him down). Instead of groaning and bitching about it, House just grabbed his cane and stood up, then briefly turned to Wilson and the ducklings.

"Dextrous of a softcore chief" House said with a smug smile before hurrying after Cuddy.

Chase chuckled quietly to himself, shook his head slightly and returned to his crossword. "'_That's our code for office sex_'"

* * *

**A/N: **Lol, I don't know. I figured since Chase is always puzzling with his crosswords then maybe he has hang on anagrams. Also, I'm not clever enough to come up with those anagrams myself, so I used _Anagram Genius _and _Internet Anagram Server _(Google is your friend). Translation of what House said pre translator!Chase:

1. "I'm bored"  
2. "Didn't you hear me?" […] _"_I'm _bored_"  
3. "I'm bored, Foreman" (yes, Mean Fro is the anagram of Foreman xD) […] "Anagrams are fun!"  
4. "I'm good at this"  
5. "That's why it's fun, Cameron!" […] "Chase, do we have any new case?"

I actually wrote something else than "I'm good at this", but then I forgot what the anagram was for and had it switched out xDD I'm so made of fail OTL

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it~ (btw, this was partly inspired by the House fanfic _The Name Game _by… someone)


End file.
